So hey, Vas Madness or the NCAA tournament or a T-shirt - anything that helps, I'm all for it." "There isn't a single problem in the world that isn't based, on some level, with population control. "Oh, it's much bigger than that," says Stein, who performs more than 2,000 vasectomies a year around the globe and sees his work more as a calling than a profession. During last year's tournament, the Urology Associates of Cape Cod lured patients with pizza coupons and an ad featuring the tag line "Want to watch college basketball guilt-free?" This year, a urology group in Austin, Texas, is sponsoring a "It's Hip to Get Snipped" Vas Madness promotion that includes extended office hours during games ("much less crowded than a sports bar" says one ad), continuous TV coverage in the lobby, free snacks, a pledge to have patients "ready for love" by the postseason and the icing on the cake: official doctor's orders prescribing three days on the couch.įew things demonstrate just how popular March Madness has become better than Vas Madness, a time when men are more than happy to drop their pants and snip away four million years of evolutionary imperative, all in exchange for a brief nag-free environment in which to enjoy Mercer slingshotting Duke. No wonder so many urologists now offer full-blown Vas Madness celebrations with discounts and extended hours during the tournament, T-shirts, food, sports memorabilia and even ice bags with team logos to replace the traditional bag of frozen peas. He procrastinated for six and a half years and still had second thoughts a week before the surgery when a friend left two Emerald nuts on his desk at work with a note: "You're gonna miss these." the Vasters.) Myers, for one, needed the extra nudge. (A urology clinic in Texas says the second-most popular time for men to have a vasectomy is. So urologists have been quick to co-opt the lure of the NCAA tournament to entice patients through the door and onto the table. Most men, however, still tend to run in the opposite direction at the mere mention of the words scalpel and scrotum. With a little bit of clever scheduling, it appears men have found a loophole that turns one of life's more unpleasant procedures into a four-day vasectomy vacation that coincides perfectly with March Madness.įor more than a century, the vasectomy - surgical severing of the spaghetti-like vas deferens to prevent it from transporting sperm from the testicles - has been the most effective permanent form of birth control for men. In the last several years, urologists across the country have reported increases of as much as 50 percent in the number of vasectomies scheduled in the days leading to the NCAA tournament. Turns out, Vas Madness is neither myth nor Facebook rumor. Welcome, friends, to the smoldering front lines of what has to be the strangest phenomenon in the wild and wonderfully weird world of sports: Vas Madness. "You gotta admit, Doc, it's a pretty good trade-off," Myers replies. "You picked a helluva way to get out of work, Ken," Stein says. Doug Stein, whose goofy highway billboards on Interstate 4 are something of a Florida institution. It's a common theme on this day, even in the always-packed offices of Dr. Through it all, though, Myers, who scheduled his appointment for this specific day in January, remains calm and downright jocular, with his eyes squarely on the prize: guilt-free, unlimited and uninterrupted couch time to watch the first two rounds of the NCAA tournament, which tips off just a few hours later. For the next few minutes, as the vasectomy continues, there will be a glowing, red-hot cauterizing gun, a razor-sharp clamp and a piston-driven lidocaine applicator that feels, as the doctor nonchalantly says, a bit like "a rubber band flick." All of it pokes around Myers' nether regions until there's a pop of some kind, followed by a twinge of pain that causes Myers to contort his torso and suck in air noisily through his teeth. He nervously chitchats about his NCAA tournament brackets as a wisp of smoke escapes from a tiny incision in the top of his scrotum, filling the air with the distinct burnt-hair smell of his own freshly cauterized vas deferens. KEN MYERS LIES on his back staring at the ceiling of his North Tampa urologist's exam room. Listen to David Fleming discuss the story on the ESPN Daily podcast. March Madness brings increase in number of vasectomiesĮditor's Note: This piece was originally published March 24, 2014. You have reached a degraded version of because you're using an unsupported version of Internet Explorer.įor a complete experience, please upgrade or use a supported browser
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